Luna and the Toaster
by LiquidThoughts
Summary: Harry receives a belated birthday gift from the Dursleys, of which his wife Luna takes quite a bit of interest in. [ONESHOT] [HUMOR/FLUFF] [HP/LL] [Rated T for small sexual reference]


"Harry, you've got a package here..." A soft voice sang through the halls, hardly persuading Harry Potter out of his concentrated task of looking over possible new Auror candidates that he would have to pick to recruit from in the oncoming weeks. He, himself, did not feel it necessary to have anymore Aurors on board but the Minister of Magic convinced him otherwise, claiming that Harry put far more on his and his fellow Aurors shoulders than necessary. Of course, his lovely wife agreed; reminding him that every time he was under a ridiculous amount of stress the Lesser Faes (a miniscule sized fairy with claws that could pierce through flesh and suck up white blood cells, leaving the supplier feeling more exhausted and spent than before) would practically infest their home. She was constantly having to put up charm wards around the windows and cracks/holes in the walls, as they were helplessly attracted to individuals who were either sick or grieved. Harry himself had never seen them (and admittedly, neither did Luna), but he couldn't argue that he was feeling less and less like himself with each new case that piled on his desk at work.

So he agreed, begrudgingly, to pulling some newcomers in.

"I'll look at it later," Harry yelled, his eyes scanning over the file of one Demetris Delebi, a wiry looking young man with blond hair almost as unruly as Harry's.

"Are you certain?" responded Luna, as he heard her float quietly into the living room where he was sitting. "It's from your Aunt and Uncle. A birthday present, I think."

_Birthday present? _Harry thought, his work momentarily disrupted. The Dursley's never sent him any gifts, and his birthday was more than a month ago. Then again, he didn't expect them to remember at all. Placing the file of Demetris Delebi (who was making a rather upsetting scene in his photograph at being ignored so easily) on the coffee table in front of him, he turned to look at Luna, who was dressed in a baby blue skirt with a short orange dress and a polka-doted red cardigan that looked two sizes too big for her. The blond tangles of her hair fell into her face as she stood in the doorway, heaving a large cardboard box over he her head, wide eyes inspecting it as if looking for some kind of time bomb.

"I doubt it's anything much, probably just a box inside a box," Harry muttered, stretching out his back and ruffing his own hair. "You can open it, if you'd like. I doubt there's anything dangerous in there."

"You're not even a bit curious?" asked Luna earnestly, placing the box on top of the coffee table and sitting gracefully on both her knees with her legs under her infront of it. Harry gave a half-shrug. "Not really. Like I said, it's probably just a box inside of a box. Or a tweezer."

"It's heavy, though," said Luna, picking up the box slightly and letting it fall back on the coffee table, causing the table to shake a bit. Harry's eyebrows rose. "Huh, that's weird... well, why don't you go ahead and open it?"

Luna gave a small nod before taking the wand out from behind her ear and whispering, "Aloamora" as she tapped the box lightly. They watched as the packaging tape unravelled itself before disappearing in a puff of smoke, allowing the flaps to fly open and reveal its contents.

Both of them leaned in a bit to see, Luna being far more interested than Harry, who was only slightly interested. It came to no surprise to him that inside was no luxurious present, if you would even call it that; for inside the box was nothing more than an old, broken toaster that looked like it had been the same one they had years ago when Harry still lived with them. Obviously, it had taken quite the beating over that amount of time, with random sprigs sticking out of the bread slots.

"Oooh," hummed Luna, her protuberant eyes lighting up at the sight of this foreign muggle object. Lifting it up and out of the box, she checked it out from front to back, giving it a little sniff as she did. She crinkled her nose in disapproval. "It smells like burnt bread."

Harry couldn't help but chuckle at her curiosity over such a simple muggle object. He had been around magic so for long now, he almost forgot what it was like to have something that wasn't enchanted in his household. Taking it out of her hands, he looked at it himself, being reminded of his time with the Dursleys merely by holding it.

"What is it?" asked Luna.

"A toaster," said Harry.

"So it toasts things?"

"Yes. Bread, bagels and the like..."

This did not seem to appease Luna, who was poking the toaster with her wand as if waiting for something to pop out of it. "Is it magical?"

Harry snorted.

"If the Dursley's could manage to make this magical, they'd probably enchant it to throw itself in the bath while i'm in it," he said, rolling his eyes.

Luna looked at him in what must have been confusion. Harry couldn't tell sometimes, the way her expression stayed dream-like as if she was in a long stupor. "Well that wouldn't make any sense," she said with a rather serious tone of voice. "I imagine it wouldn't make very good toast if it was under water!" Harry shook his head, laughing. "I'm being sarcastic," he explained, smiling at her as he stood from the couch and began walking towards the hall leading to the kitchen, Luna soon trailing behind him, continuing the conversation.

"Well, it wasn't very funny. What if the toaster truly did jump in the bath with you? Perhaps it was just trying to be polite, thinking you'd like some toast and jam..." She suggested.

"While I'm taking a bath?" Harry looked behind him, raising an eyebrow at her. She nodded.

"Yes, of course. Don't you ever crave toast and jam while you're taking a bath?"

"No, not really. I'm a bit busy washing myself."

"And singing," added Luna lightly. Harry blushed, though he knew she was not making fun of him but rather making a statement.

"Err - yes, well - that has nothing to do with toasters..." He mumbled, walking into the kitchen and setting the toaster on top of the counter. _Wonder if this thing even works... _He thought to himself, checking out the normal electric plug that was on the end of the cord.

"Is that a tail?" asked Luna, who was watching him with curiosity. "I've never heard of a creature that could make toast."

"It's not a creature, it's - it's like a car," said Harry, who immediately kicked himself for thinking of such a poor example. Luna seemed equally bewildered by this.

"So... it's a car that makes toast? That's fascinating. Where is it's wheels? Is that how it visits you in the bath?"

"No. That was... that was a bad example," Harry stammered, sighing. "It's not like a car. Actually it's nothing like a car at all."

"Oh," mouthed Luna, who at some point had jumped on top of the kitchen counter top when he was not looking (how she managed to be so quiet when doing these things, he'd never know) and was now sitting down on it with her legs swinging, dreamily staring at Harry. "So it doesn't drive around delivering toast?"

"No. Toasters can't do that," he said, tearing his eyes away from her to look for an electrical outlet along the kitchen wall but finding none.

"That's a pity," sighed Luna. "I've always wanted to be delivered toast. Preferably dry."

Harry suppressed a laugh. As crazy as Luna could be sometimes when it came to her thoughtful tangents, he remained irrationally fond of her.

"What is it then, if not like a car?"

"It's just... a_ toaster_. I don't know how else to explain it. All you do is put the bread in, turn on the toaster, and it heats it up and makes toast," said Harry, who felt a bit silly that he was explaining the mechanics of a toaster and doing a rather terrible job at it. "Unfortunately, it doesn't look like I'll be able to show you how it works. There are no outlets for the plug. Didn't think I'd need it when we bought the place, what with magic and all..." Luna nodded, understanding, though she eyed the toaster with a frown.

"That's a shame. All this talk about toast, I've gotten hungry," said Luna.

Harry felt his stomach rumble in response and remembered that he had not eaten a thing all day, being far too caught up in his work. Not only that, but he had hardly seen Luna, which he was beginning to regret seeing as how much better he felt when he was with her. Looking at his wife, he smiled and walked over to her, placing his hands on her small waist. At this, Luna stared down at him with wide eyes, her blond strands falling into her face.

"How about this," said Harry, sweeping the hair away behind her ear. "Let's go grab something to eat, and when we get back, I'll see if I can enchant it to work properly."

At this, a broad grin made its way to Luna's lips as she patted Harry's shoulders before hugging him tightly and briefly. "Yes! Yes, that sounds fantastic. I'd love that, really."

Laughing, Harry picked her up off the kitchen counter and gently onto the floor, putting his arm around her as they walked out of the kitchen.

"Do you think we could enchant it to visit us in the bath and make toast?" asked Luna, with such sincerity that Harry hesitated to say no.

"Well, we'll see how things work out..." he said carefully, grabbing their hanging coats by the front door and helping Luna into hers.

"I think it'd be fantastic. A toaster in the bath! Well, not _in_ the bath. Just to deliver toast in case we'd want some. Perhaps I could teach it to bring you toast when you're singing!"

Harry's face flushed hot as he opened the door for Luna, who was fiddling with the strawberry shaped buttons on her coat.

"... Yeah. Uh, let's - can we change the subject about my - _thing_,"

"I wasn't talking about your _thing, _Harry," Luna said, sounding exasperated. "That's a whole other subject, in which I believe toast is entirely inappropriate! I'm talking about your singing the shower. You know, when you sing that one muggle song... mcjagger something?-"

Though trying to hide his embarrassment, Harry couldn't help but carry a sheepish smile as he grabbed tight of his wifes hand, holding it the entire way to the cafe' down the street, where he was certain that everyone there would be well informed of both his new toaster and his personal bathing habits.

Neither of which, he thought as he watched the animated movements of Luna's hands and her calm but creative facial expressions, he really cared that much about. As long as it was with her.


End file.
